I Know Myself?
By Daniel Speraw

In 700 BC, an inscription at the Delphic Oracle read, “Know thyself,” and throughout time the overwhelming response has been, “Hey! I know myself;” and of course, we do. However, psychology tells us that there are places within that we do not know and do not want to know.

These places are why some of us have over-reacted at times, why we have buttons that can be pushed and why we sometimes find ourselves in arguments without knowing why—to name a few of the problems caused by what Carl Jung labeled the shadow side (of personality).

Obviously, these Shadows are below our consciousness, even deeply below, so how can we find them? Even more, how can we release them?

I was driving in rush-hour traffic, when the car in front suddenly shot from the right lane, across two others and into the left-turn isle. I shook my head at such a dangerous move and labeled him an idiot.

A few days later, I was about to miss a turn and did the same thing. I immediately thought of that idiot and defended myself by thinking that there was not nearly as much traffic and at least I had been careful. In reality, there was no difference.

My labeling that driver an idiot is what psychology calls Projection, an automatic response that takes place just below the level of consciousness; it is a way to protect ourselves.

At the time I saw that idiot in traffic, I knew deep down that I had done, and could again do, the same dangerous move. To avoid feeling my own criticism, I automatically Projected it onto him.

Projection defined: when we find ourselves reacting emotionally to the behavior or appearance of another, it is our own behavior or appearance that is really the target.

Here are some more examples:
A young man tends to be on the quiet side, careful to avoid confrontations. Deep down, he views this behavior as weak, but rather than experience his own criticism, he points at the weaknesses of his friends and jokingly says, “What a wimp!”

A woman whispers, “Stuck up”, as a stranger walks past. This woman has a tendency to look down on those around her, and of course, does not like this about herself.

I saw the back of a man’s head and thought he had a funny-looking bald spot. Sometime later, I realized that my baldness looked exactly the same.

Although Projection appears to be about others, it is always about us. You can know this to be true the next time you hear someone criticizing another; listen, as they describe themselves. Projection is also why we can hear someone disparage another and either not share or not understand the remark.

Projection, though, has an inherently positive side: if we find ourselves admiring a trait in another, at the very least, the seed of that quality is within us.

It can be difficult to see our own Shadows, even using Projection, so here is an exercise that can release them, without first going through the process of discovery:

In a quiet place, close your eyes and relax.

Imagine someone who you have felt emotional toward, either their looks or behavior, or both. Most of us have more than one person who will come to mind; if you have a choice, pick the one you feel strongest toward.

Take time to fully imagine this person doing or looking in the way that bothers you. When your feelings are strongest, suddenly give him/her permission to be that way. Literally let go, inside and out, opening your hands, as if you are releasing a rope in tug-of-war.

At the moment of release, you may feel a physical sensation. Why? Giving them permission has nothing to do with them and everything to do with freeing/opening ourselves.

Throughout his Life, Daniel has searched through religion, meditation and psychology, so he could release the past and connect more deeply with those in his life. He also began writing in the 1980’s, with a nationally syndicated newspaper column; his current project is This Human Condition, currently sixty-four works on positive change. You can reach him on Facebook: search Daniel Speraw.