Where’s The Rest
By Sophia Falke

When Anna and Ernest got married it was during the depression years, so there was no money for an engagement ring. Every year Ernest would say “I still want to buy you a diamond ring, but there isn’t enough money yet.” Every year Anna would reply, “That’s all right. I’ll wait,” and she would sometimes think, “The diamond will just get bigger the longer I wait.”

Finally, after three children, the year came. Ernest hung the boxed one-carat diamond engagement ring on the tree to surprise Anna on Christmas morning. Ahh, the excitement Ernest felt in anticipation of his wife’s delight when she opened the box and saw her beautiful ring.

The middle child, Nancy, was about seven that Christmas. She was so excited about opening her presents that she crept down the stairs before sunrise. Since she couldn’t read, she didn’t know which presents were for her. Deciding they must all be, she opened every present under the tree. She saw the presents on the mantle that were meant for neighbors and friends and opened them too. Then she saw the little box hanging on the tree.

It was barely 5:30 when Nancy ran to her parents’ bedroom. “Mommy, Daddy!” she shouted, wearing her new diamond ring and waking them from a sound sleep. “Where’s the rest?”

Indeed, “Where’s the rest?” Do you ever find yourself asking this sort of question? Most of us are grateful for the many blessings in our lives…yet, every now and then a little voice asks, “Where’s the rest?” The question might take the form of: “What happened to my dreams?” “Why am I in pain?” “Where’s all the money I should have for all my hard work?” We are grateful for the good we have, and there is still a yearning, a longing, an expectation for something greater.

This feeling might come up more as 2010 comes to an end. We reflect back. We look forward. Sometimes we even remember to be still … to appreciate and experience the now. But as a species, we are ever expanding, exploring, and creating. “‘My life is full. Now tell me, ‘Where’s the rest?’”

Often we don’t know what we’re longing for. The question morphs from “Where’s the rest?” to “What’s the rest?” The “what” looks different for each of us. My “what” is based on my own personal and professional life’s intentions, passions, and standards of integrity. I meet many professionals and business men and women at the various functions I attend. I usually discover at least one person per event that is re-inventing him or herself. They are discovering that their current work keeps them too busy to be with family and friends or they no longer enjoy their work. But they have forgotten what has “juice” for them, what turns them on, what propels them from bed every morning.

I count myself fortunate that I enjoy what I do for a living. I like my home. I have good friends. I continue to grow spiritually. Yet, I want more. I have a life’s intention to be an adventurer but I haven’t ventured anywhere new and interesting in almost two years. I’m going to Machu Picchu in May 2011. I won’t wait any longer. To someone else, this might be a “ho hum” activity. To me it is full of possibility and excitement. It not only fulfills my life’s intention* to be an adventurer, it also fulfills my passions to be spiritually developing and to be well traveled. In order to make the trip, I will need to be financially successful and be physically fit and healthy. My longing to be a successful author and an effective communicator will be met when I return and write and speak about the trip. (*Dr. Maria Nemeth, founder of the Academy for Coaching Excellence, defines a life’s intention as, “an underlying direction, aim, or purpose that comes from deep within you and is the living spirit behind your goals and dreams. It is a longing to be known for something that you contribute to life. … Our Life’s Intentions rouse us forward on our journey, calling us to grow and develop.”).

If you have a life’s intention to be a loving parent or grandparent, an activity with great energy might be to create a family album or organize a family reunion. If your purpose is to be a loving spouse, you may cut back on your work hours, even if it means less income, to spend more time with your family.

Even as a successful business person or professional, you might sometimes ask, “Where’s the rest?” You’re feeling a quiet discontent even though everything seems to be going well. If that’s you, ask yourself, “What am I longing to be known for or contribute that I have not yet done?” An often fruitful exercise is to write down what you want people to say about you at your retirement party. After writing it all down, ask, “Have I done all of this? If not, is it part of my current vision and goals? If not, what am I willing to do to make it happen?” As you focus on and begin to bring into physical demonstration what is important to you, notice how your discontent dissipates, observe how the unimportant and unnecessary activities you used to be involved in fall away, and experience a renewed sense of joy and purpose in your life.

Where’s the rest for you? What passion or life intention is waiting to be fulfilled? Only you can answer that question. And I know you will.

Now for the ‘rest’ of the story: Anna and Ernest were my parents. For Mom, it was important to be a loving mother. That didn’t prevent her from taking her much awaited diamond ring from her teary-eyed daughter that Christmas morning. But it did propel her to the five and dime store the day after Christmas to buy Nancy a sparkling, one-carat, plastic diamond ring.

Sophia Falke is a coach and professional speaker through her company

Embracing Greatness, Excellence Coaching and Seminars, and minister of Unity Center in the Valley (www.uciv.org). You can reach Sophia at Sophia@EmbracingGreatness.com .