|
Chatter of Monkey Mind…
Will it Ever Stop?
By Sophia Falke
I was at a book study the other evening. We had been reading from Charles
Fillmore’s book, Prosperity. This was our sixth week together, and I thought it
time we talked about following the principles revealed in the book. I invited
everyone in the group to make a statement of the prosperity they were willing to
see show up in their lives.
It was a powerful exercise as everyone paused long enough to look at what they
really wanted to see in their lives…and claim it! When it came my turn everyone
in the group looked at me expectantly. “What would the reverend/coach proclaim
for herself?” was the unspoken question. I considered for a moment and said
simply, “I am willing to cross the border in all areas of my life, and I claim
plenty, plenty, plenty.”
For those who have studied with me or whom I’ve coached, “crossing the border”
makes perfect sense. Crossing the border refers to taking our
dreams/vision/goals from our imaginations into the physical reality of our
everyday lives. In our imaginations, everything and anything is possible! This
is the realm of unlimited possibility. Remember your daydreams as a child?
Remember that really cute guy or girl you could see yourself spending the rest
of your life with? Remember the career, the home, the vacations, the “good
works” you dreamed of…and still do?
And do you remember what happened when you wanted to approach that guy or girl
to say “hello” and somehow make your interest known? Do you remember starting
out on your quest to pursue that career, own that home, go on those vacations,
etc.? What often happened? For most of us, when we get to that border between
our dreams and physical reality, we start running into trouble. And I don’t mean
trouble “out there.” I’m referring to those critical, judgmental, self-limiting
conversations that go on in our heads. The Buddhists call this monkey mind.
“That boy (girl) will never look at me. He (she) is too popular to be interested
in a dweeb like me.” would be a self-limiting internal conversation. (And,
actually, many of us still have that conversation as adults.) That dream career?
“They’ll never hire me. I’ll never know enough to be successful in that field.”
is another limiting self-talk. Want to start your own company? A monkey mind
conversation might be “It’s the wrong time; just look at the economy!” or “If I
go out on my own, I’ll probably work twice as hard for half the money.”
Does any of this sound familiar? I’m curious. What is something you are dreaming
or visualizing for yourself? What is it you want to bring into the physical
reality of your life? I invite you to stop reading for a moment and write it
down. Be specific. (I’ll wait.) Now look at that vision/dream/goal. What is
keeping you from making it happen in your life? Yes, I want you to stop reading
again and write down everything you can think of. Get every monkey mind,
self-limiting, critical, judgmental thought that comes to mind down on paper.
Take your time.
Now look at your vision/dream/goal. It’s pretty big isn’t it? For some it’s
huge! This is something that is uniquely yours to bring into the world. Take a
moment to accept and celebrate that this is yours to do. Wow! I’m getting goose
bumps already. In fact, I think I’ll do my happy dance! (Feel free to join me.)
All right, now look at your monkey mind list. The truth is, we all experience
inner dialogs full of criticism, judgment, and self-doubt at one point or
another in our lives. Actually, these inner dialogs are always with us. It’s
just that they are relatively quiet until we take action to bring one of our
dreams into physical reality.
Monkey mind has the “moral, emotional, and cognitive development of a 9-11 year
old. That means it wants to: 1) stay out of trouble, 2) get what it deserves (a
treat or acknowledgement), 3) make itself right and others “wrong.” (Academy for
Coaching Excellence seminar materials). Monkey mind prefers the status quo. It
doesn’t like change…even when what we are striving for is so much better than
our current situation. Monkey mind doesn’t like to take risk and turns up its
volume as we get closer to the border.
But there is good news about monkey mind. First, monkey mind chatter is normal.
Let me say that again…it’s NORMAL! Second, monkey mind only increases the volume
or starts screeching when you’re up to something BIG. That brave person next to
you that is bringing his or her dreams into physical reality is having the same
monkey mind conversations as the hesitant person that never crosses the border
to bringing their dream into physical reality.
The difference between them? It’s really quite simple. (Note I said “simple.” I
did not say it was necessarily “easy.”) The first person was more interested in
making their dream come true than letting monkey mind hold them back. The
conversation between this person and his or her monkey mind might go something
like this. “Thank you for sharing, but I am more interested in making my dream
come true (achieving my goal, making this contribution to the world, etc.)”
The second person listened to monkey mind. Remember the maps when the Europeans
thought the world was flat. There were illustrations of dragons and monsters at
the edge of the known world. Whereas the first person sailed past the dragons
and monsters to discover the new world of their dreams, the second person
listened to monkey mind and turned back, not recognizing the true hero that
lived in their soul and the wonderful experiences awaiting them on the other
side of the border.
Does any of this ring true for you? You’re up to something new and exciting, and
the self-doubts and critical, judgmental thoughts start chattering in your mind.
We’ve all been there. The chatter won’t go away, but we can move it to the
background so it no longer hinders us. How? We can turn our attention away from
the chatter by energizing the goal. Make it a SMART goal (Specific, Measurable,
Achievable but a stretch, Relevant to what is important to you, and Time based).
If the goal or dream seems too big, break it down into sweet, small steps. Say
to yourself (and others) “I am willing” or even “I don’t know how I will achieve
(fill in your goal). I only know it is happening now, and I am grateful.” Share
your dream with someone who supports your personal, spiritual, and business
growth. Invite and allow him or her to support you.
How can you tell the difference between monkey mind and your inner wisdom? If
your thoughts are stressful, jumbled, and discordant or you need to be “right”
and have others “wrong,” it’s probably monkey mind. If, however, your internal
conversation is open to possibility, compassionate, and spacious and you feel an
opening around heart, you are probably hearing your inner wisdom taking the
lead.
So for each of my dreams and goals, I affirm “I am willing to cross the border
in all areas of my life, and I claim plenty, plenty, plenty.”
 Sophia Falke is a local freelance writer. She supports individuals, businesses,
and communities “cross the border” through her and coaching and seminar company,
Embracing Greatness, Excellence Coaching and Seminars, and her work as minister
at Unity Center in the Valley (www.uciv.org). You can reach Sophia at
Sophia@EmbracingGreatness.com . |
|
Advertisements
|
