The “Bad Mood” Lifestyle

By Brenda Anderson

I recall a pattern of force I fell into with Patrick, a gifted salesperson who never seemed to get his weekly reports filled out. No matter how much I nagged and reminded him, I didn’t get what I wanted. Neither did Patrick. Finally, I made a conscious effort to redirect my energy from force to power. We finally agreed that he could turn his reports in every other month and they’d be prepared by one of my employees in the regional office in Chicago. Think of all the energy wasted traveling to Texas to hassle him about admin policy when I could have been asking him how I could best help him to do his job better!

• State our intention and let go of the outcome. So, if we can’t control situations, how do we ever get what we want? We clearly state our intention—and the result finds us. Our challenge is to let it find us. Rather than working harder or muscling an outcome, focus on what we want. Zero in on the ‘what’ — a fulfilling relationship, a great job, the perfect house —not the ‘how’. Think of the Field as a cosmic version of QVC. They both have everything we could possibly want, are ‘on’ twenty-four hours a day, and are waiting to fill our order. With the cosmic QVC, we imagine what we want, and we don’t have to figure out whether to shop online or by phone or determine the size, model number, or which credit card to use. We just need to be clear on what we want to create in our lives.

• Choose not to be a victim. If we put ourselves last, we’ll be treated as last. (This is a problem that women, in particular, create.) Put ourselves first. Care for the caretaker. Choosing to serve is different from being a martyr. If we stay home with our children out of fear or a feeling of obligation, we’re operating from force, not power, because we’re trying to make something work that doesn’t inherently support our best interest. Instead of saying, “I’m not going back to work right now because my family needs me at home,” say, “I’m not going back to work right now because I choose to be home for my children.”

• Consciously search for high-energy choices. Remember, every choice made expands our lives exponentially. Even tiny moments are critical. That’s why we must always be on the alert to make high-energy choices whenever possible.

For example, early on in my career I was invited to a dinner. It was a “power meal” with my company’s new CEO, and I felt out of my league. I nervously picked up a sourdough roll and begin to eat it, realizing too late that I wasn’t sure which bread plate was mine. A hush fell over the room as the CEO turned to me and quietly said, “Are you enjoying my bread?” Mortified, I searched for a high-energy response.