Playing the Quantum Field

By Brenda Anderson

The pharmacy was on my way to the El, so I could pick up my prescription on the way home. I called to confirm that they were open late. I took a breath and realized I had to let go of the graphics in my presentation. Also, nothing was actually wrong with my car. It was just the last free tune-up before the warranty expired. With the next breath, I decided not to deal with the car at all. With a quieter mind, I was able to finish the London contract, because I was fully focused on it, and I wasn’t leaking energy worrying about all the other fires I had to put out.

The rest of the story? My VP of Marketing stopped by and helped my presentation look more professional. I got my chores done and I got to the airport on time. My presentation was a big success and the following week I called the auto dealer, who extended my warranty because, each time I’d been there, I’d made a high-energy choice to get to know him. By stopping my descent into a Black Hole, I had turned a bad day completely around.

• Recognize the danger of Comfort Zones. A Comfort Zone is the place we go to because we know how to be in it. It is a life blueprint that we follow unconsciously. Without realizing it, we make choices that keep us in the familiar. And even though the familiar may not be the healthiest place to be, it’s where we know how to behave. Often our friends and family and co-workers will recognize it before we do because they’re not as emotionally invested. Until we become conscious of the process, we’ll always pick the known over the unknown. Please understand: a Comfort Zone is neither good nor bad. We just need to notice when it has stopped serving us.

• Suspend judgment. We all make hundreds of judgments every day and seldom realize they are mostly inaccurate. Learn to let go of interpretations of and opinions about others, outcomes, and especially ourselves. This will immediately take us out of the Fear Zone of low-energy choices and expand our possibilities. For example, when someone does not return our call, we probably jump to a single conclusion: he’s not interested; she’s mad at me; they’re too busy to make time for me. This assumption may lead to a great deal of upset and stress. Next time such an event occurs, instead of leaping to a negative conclusion imagine at least one more possibility…their voicemail isn’t working or perhaps they have a hectic schedule. Suspending judgment stops a downward spiral before it begins and allow us to make more powerful, and less obvious, choices. We’ll tap into the Field and experience frequent creative breakthroughs, better one-on-one relationships, and less negativity in our lives.

• Don’t miss opportunities to Lighten Up. Lightening up is the expressway to making the higher-energy choices. Laughter enables us to break away from the intensity and drama of a situation. What’s more, it’s amazing how people respond when we’re playful and in the moment.

One time I was in a situation where I missed a chance to lighten up. Leading a meeting held in a Mexico resort city, I was desperate to make a good impression on the executives in attendance. A midmorning coffee and fruit break had been scheduled. As break time neared, I expected the hotel staff to discreetly begin setting up. Instead, a crash of cymbals rang out, the door flew open, and a man in a gorilla suit burst into the room and began passing out bananas.

I was furious. Rather than seizing the opportunity to make light of the situation and have fun with it, I politely escorted the gorilla out of the room. Since he spoke no English and I spoke very little Spanish, we relied on hand signals to communicate, which made him seem even more like a gorilla. When I returned, I apologized for what had happened. If there was ever a time in my career to Lighten up and laugh, it would have been then. But I just couldn’t do it. I was too terrified that they thought I was an imbecile for scheduling this, and I lost a precious opportunity to connect with my colleagues that day.

It’s true that once we try living in the Power Zone, we won’t want to go back to the old way. But please understand: this is not about eliminating the “bad” things in life or in ourselves. That will never happen. It’s about embracing all aspects of ourselves so that we can understand the spectrum of choices that are available to us—and make the ones we want to make.

Without our low-energy aspects, we cannot come into our full power, just as we cannot always distinguish weeds from wildflowers. Without exploring all our aspects, and fully embracing all that is within us, we won’t be able to offer our ‘seeds’ to the world, and they will not blossom. The very things we’re trying to change, reform or transcend are actually the seeds coming into our full power. When we embrace them, ‘our heaven comes home.’

Brenda is vice president for global business development for SmithBucklin, the world’s largest association management company. She also serves as CEO of the Society of Incentive and Travel Executives (SITE), a global society with members from eighty-two countries. She lectures internationally and lives in Chicago. www.quantumties.com