Stress, How To Cope

By Dr. Dolores Seymour

In order to take control of the emotional stress in our life, we need to divide and conquer it by separating the sources of our stress into three basic categories which are situation, body, and mind. Stress from our situation includes all the outside demands of people and things around us; our friends, where we live, the music we listen to, the TV programs we watch—all choices we make daily. I’m certainly aware of what some of us believe is not our choice, but guess what? At some point, for whatever reason, we made a choice. And that’s okay because this reminds us that we do have some degree of control. Begin from that thought and we’ll feel better immediately.

The second category is stress from our body. What we do to our bodies often determines what our bodies will do for us, especially in response to stress. For example, caffeine, alcohol, nicotine, salt and sugars are packed with stress-inducing chemicals. Also, lack of exercise certainly contributes to a tense, stressful body. Let’s have the courage to take responsibility—let’s take action! We don’t want to blame what’s convenient in order to continue the self-abuse. Simply make the decision to make the decision…the “how” will take care of itself.

The third category is stress from our mind. Shakespeare said it well: “Things are neither bad nor good, but thinking makes them so.” My personal favorite is Henry Ford’s “If you think you can or you can’t, you’re right!” The idea is not to sweat the small stuff. Guess what? It’s 95% small stuff. One way of measuring this is to ask ourselves, “Will this really matter five years from now?” (Or even five weeks from now?) We might also ask ourselves, “If this were the last day of my life, would I choose to use my energy worrying about this?” Remind yourself that although we may not be able to smooth out the surf, we can learn to ride the waves. In other words, we may not be able to control the world but we can always control our reaction to the world. A goal of mine is to give people a sense of control over their lives; to help them learn how to react positively and adapt to any stressful situation, hereby conserving their energy for the truly important challenges. (And all problems can be turned into challenges.) Furthermore, if we feel helpless when we’re threatened, our bodies secrete different chemicals than if we feel challenged. We need to find some way, physical or mental or both, to believe that we can make a difference and then go for it! This belief alone initiates a positive reaction in the body. To illustrate: TV can affect our bodies as well as our minds. A Harvard psychologist conducted an experiment showing subjects two types of programs. One was about concentration camps, very depressing; the other was about Mother Teresa, inspiring and loving. You’ve probably already guessed that those watching the first program felt depressed while those who saw the second show felt okay. But what’s surprising is that after watching the programs, the blood chemistry of these two groups was totally different. Blood tests showed the first group was not only depressed after watching the negative program, but actually had weakened immune systems. Those who watched the inspiring program left with their immune systems strengthened. The study proved that a change in attitude has physical consequences.

Pursuant to this, how do you think actors get into the mood of the part they play? They begin by pretending to feel a certain way, then they act as if they feel a certain way; they make faces and use actions to correspond with what they’re supposed to be feeling. Studies have shown physiological and chemical changes occur during this playacting, just as though they were real feelings. Think about this for a moment. This is why I ask you to imagine yourself as happy, healthy, and nonchalant. Nonchalant we know, is the ability to look as wise as an owl when we’ve just acted like a jackass. Hopefully I’ve got you smiling now which is, in itself, healthy. In yet another study, researchers have changed people’s moods by changing their expressions, using pasted eyebrows and lips, creating frowns and smiles. They found the moods corresponded with the masks. If they created smiles, the subjects felt happy; if they created frowns, subjects felt depressed. Physical techniques improve moods and release stress…that’s been proven. Thoughts = actions = emotions, in that order. Start with something simple. Find some way to act as if you feel better. Smile even when the sun isn’t shining…you know it’s out there somewhere. These very actions will have an effect on your mind and your body as you take control of the situation again, step-by-step, turning the negatives into an opportunity for growth. Last, but certainly not least, remember we don’t smile because we’re happy…we’re happy because we smile.

Dr. Dolores Seymour, Executive Director American Institute of Holistic Health & Wellness   www.holisticpsychologyschool.com toll free 1-877-587-8481