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Resilient Living For The 21ST Century

by Sunny Tice, MSW LCSW

ACCEPT THAT CHANGE IS PART OF THE JOURNEY

Accept what can’t be changed and focus on what we can do. To think outside the box and draw from every source we can think of is important.

DEVELOP A PLAN/GOALS

Make them realistic, follow through and be flexible in the process. Have a Plan “A” and Plan “B” Make adjustments as needed.

LOOK FOR THE GIFT OF SELF-DISCOVERY HIDDEN IN CHALLENGE

What can we learn from the experience and about ourselves? How might the hardship make us stronger and wiser? Our most difficult challenges can lead us toward undiscovered strengths we didn’t know we had.

CULTIVATE POSITIVE SELF-REGARD 

It builds hardier confidence and greater trust in our ability to problem-solve. Listen to our intuitive guidance. The Universe wants us to succeed.

MAINTAIN A HOPEFUL PERSPECTIVE

In the midst of change it is vital we visualize what we want rather than worrying about what we fear. Be vigilant of the spiraling power of “What if…” thinking. It can be paralyzing. Cultivate the valuable quality of optimism. I recommend a “how to” book called, The Survivor Personality, by Al Seibert, PhD.

NURTURE OURSELVES

Be attentive to our needs and feelings. Find ways to care for ourselves on all levels. This means the body, mind and spirit. Be extra kind and gentle. Exercise, get added rest, meditate/pray. Use music to calm or energize ourselves — to help raise our mood. It is also a great tool to help process our feelings; especially when we match the music to the feeling or the mood we are experiencing. Remember, when dealing with a crisis, we need to balance our handling of the issue while maintaining our personal needs as well.

THE CAPACITY TO MANAGE STRONG FEELINGS AND IMPULSES

Don’t run from our feelings. This is a very important piece of resiliency. Feelings are messengers. When we stuff the negative/painful ones, or numb them by using alcohol, drugs, or food or if we pretend they aren’t there, we add further stress that can eventually compromise our physical or emotional health. What is healthiest is to learn how to be “fluid” with our feelings, processing them as they emerge. There are techniques to control when and where we express them and for how long. There are also healthy methods for quickly regaining composure when we need to “switch” gears. In her book, The Sound of Healing, music therapist Judith Pinkerton teaches how to be more fluid with our emotions.