 So Close To Freedom
by Michael McCluskey With 30 years of effort under my belt, I enjoy some contact with my divine spirit. But lately, I’ve been trying to identify some of the blocks and fears still present within me that are obstructing a more consistent awareness. As I am trying to be open to synchronistic events; coincidences that might reveal new insights, I notice… A light breeze blows through the open window in my kitchen. A honeybee is perched on the inside surface of glass. As it sits motionless, I sense its fatigue and frustration. Its thoughts drift into my head. "There it is. I can see exactly where I want to go. I can see those flowers swaying so slightly in the breeze. That yellow sunlight that I long for brightens the entire landscape. I see some other bees. They seem so busy and happy and free. I’ve got to find a way to join them!" But, what’s wrong with me. I can’t seem to break through this invisible barrier. I’m so close. What can I do? I have traversed every inch of this barrier and it’s always the same story. I always run into those hard walls that surround this entryway to freedom. Maybe if I push just a little bit harder. Or maybe I need to close my eyes and pray. I’ve got to keep my eyes away from that area below where those other bees lay dead. Did they find their way to this barrier? Am I going to end up like them, their empty carcasses sucked dry by demon spiders? Oh, the horror! I think I’ll try flying around again. I’ll try a new approach." Away from the glass and the graveyard sill below, the bee takes flight. With renewed determination, it buzzes from room to room… up high, bouncing off the ceilings; low, near the floors, in the shadows. Alighting now and then to rest and contemplate… on the mirror, the countertop. "But wait…what’s this?" A pungent organic aroma draws the bee to the fruit bowl. "This could be it!" In a state of ecstasy it explores the outer skins of the fruit. Delirious, it explores every cave, every nook and every cranny created by the piled up delicacies. It stops and dips it pollen-gathering legs into a soft spot. "Not quite what I was expecting, but maybe this is it! I’m definitely gonna settle here for a while. For sure, this could be the answer." But, after a while, some nagging thoughts begin to crop up. Doubts begin to creep in. "Where are the others? Something’s not right. I just know there are supposed to be others. There’s something about a hive. Something about a journey Home." And once again, a place that has provided some momentary relief and temporary fulfillment now seems empty and void. Intuition rises out of experience. Somehow knowing, that true freedom will contain no compromises, the bee is compelled to take flight again. Like the Father, I am compelled to open all the windows and lift up the screens. I prop open the storm doors. The bee senses something is different and flies with a greater enthusiasm… and then, out the door, into the freedom, never looking back. As I ponder what I’ve witnessed, it occurs to me that… The surface of the glass symbolizes my unidentified fears. The glass looks the same as an open door or window, yet you can’t get through and you can’t tell why. The dead bees on the windowsill represent my fears that I won’t reach freedom (enlightenment) in this lifetime; that all my efforts are in vain. The bee’s flight from the glass, its determined search and its times of rest are similar to the many times I have searched and pondered during my quest. The ecstasy of the fruit bowl is similar to the times and places when the world has seemed to contain The Answer and the disappointment when enthusiasm diminishes as closer investigations reveal the shortcomings. And of course, most importantly, my sympathetic act of opening the doors and windows represents the ever-present Principle of Synchronicity’s benevolent nature as it consistently responds to my needs by creating new circumstances to aid me in my quest for freedom. Michael McCluskey, mjmcc1@aol.com |
