The Proper Plate
By Alan Cohen

When Rev. Roger Teel, minister of the Mile Hi Church of Religious Science in Denver, was a shy and awkward-feeling high school senior, his father encouraged him to take a date to the senior prom. Roger’s dad even offered to pay for a corsage for a young lady as well as dinner at a fine restaurant. Nervously, young Roger asked one of his classmates to the prom, and to his happy surprise, she accepted.

Finally the big night came and Roger picked up the girl at her home. She looked ravishing! He took one look at her bare shoulders graced by a spaghetti-strap dress, and his knees grew weak. Somehow Roger maintained his decorum and the two drove to the restaurant, staring straight ahead, speaking hardly a word. Apparently the girl was as nervous as he was!

At the restaurant, the young lady ordered scallops and Roger ordered a steak. When the entrées arrived, Roger, still feeling uptight, reached to cut his steak, and something horrible happened his knife slipped and the steak flew off the plate, right past his date’s spaghetti-strapped shoulder, and onto the floor! (It was one of those events one watches in slow motion, with just enough time to think, "I can’t believe this is really happening!") Young Roger, of course, felt completely mortified, at an utter loss about what to say. Here he is on his first big date with a knockout babe, and he blew it right out of the chute!

Before he could think of what to say, the maitre d’, who had watched the entire episode, dashed to the table. "I am so sorry, sir," he blurted out, terribly apologetically, with the errant beef, now napkin-covered, in hand. "The chef placed your entrée on the wrong kind of plate. It would have slipped out of anyone’s hands. Please accept my apology. I’ll get a replacement for you immediately." A few minutes later a waiter returned with a new steak — on a different colored plate — and made a big deal about the order now being on the appropriate "steak plate."