So What Do You Really Want?
By Laura Hess

It’s January. Time to do those resolutions again. If your habit is to look at last year’s resolutions and just change the date, you’re wasting your time. If you’re in the habit of making resolutions you forget by February, you’re wasting your time. If you don’t even bother planning for the new year, you’re depriving yourself of the chance for creating the life you really want. You have a choice to do the same thing this year OR you can do something different. To me, there isn’t really a choice. I want more for myself and more in my life. You probably do, too. What I want for you is to have your perfect future — exactly what you want for yourself and then some!

I want you to answer these questions in your mind or, even better, on paper: How do you want 1999 to be different from past years? What did you love about 1998? What had you planned for in 1998 that didn’t happen? Are you willing to do what you need to in order to make this year different? If you answered, "No!", to the last question, don’t bother reading any further. A "Yes," however, means you are willing to entertain other possibilities for your life and this is one place you can start. If you want more for yourself and you want 1999 to be a banner year for you, do something different than other years.

I’ve written about goals and new year resolutions before. This year I’m going to give you some actions to take. No supporting stories or validation about why what I’m sharing is important. No promises. This one’s all up to you.

First: What was last year like? What worked and what didn’t? Where did you feel blocked and where did you feel unfulfilled? What goal did you not accomplish? What did you accomplish?

Second: What do you want for yourself this year? What are your wildest dreams? What do you hold closest to your heart? What are you really committed to having in your life?

Third: Look at your answers to these questions. What are you carrying over from 1998 to 1999? How many years have you been carrying over the same goals? What makes this year different? Can you really say, right now, you are ready to make changes in your life no matter what?

Some of these questions aren’t easy. (The more honest you are with yourself, the harder this exercise can be.) Some are challenging and it’s not easy to commit to change. One thing I do guarantee — if you choose the path of change your life can move into chaos very quickly before you get to your final destination.

Fourth: Now let’s go to an entirely new place. What is the most important thing to you in your life? Family? Money? Security? Fun? Do you even know? I’m speaking about values. Your values guide your life and the decisions and choices you make. Sometimes, your life takes a turn and you are not living congruently with your values. For example, what if one of your highest values is family and you’re working too many hours each week to support them that you have no quality time with your family — you’re too tired? What if one of your highest values is balance and you never have quiet time because you’re busy coordinating schedules of spouse, kids and work? Being out of alignment with your values creates stress in your life. Here, again, you have choice.

Make a list of your values — your guiding principles. What do you base your decisions/choices on? What makes a "good" person? What qualities do you hold in high esteem? Make your list of at least 20 values/guiding principles. (It’s always interesting to me that people have difficulty identifying the values guiding their life. With all the workshops I’ve led and all the clients I’ve coached, values work is one of the most impactive areas for growth.)

Now look at your list. If the world were coming to an end, AND you had the chance to save it, HOWEVER you’d have to give up one of your values as the cost for saving the world, which value would you give up? Cross it off your list. Continue this process until you have only four values remaining.

How do your four values relate (or not) to goals you’ve set in the past? How do your goals for 1999 reflect those values?

Fifth: Based on your answers to the questions and exercises above, what are the three things you want for yourself in 1999? What are you going to do to make what you want a reality? What are three action steps you are willing to take? Look at your values and the goals you just identified. Are they in alignment? If not, change your goals. If they are, you are ready to step into the actions for achieving your goals. Go for it!

Repeat the exercises until you have created a compelling vision for yourself for the new year. You have everything you need to make it all happen. You have the answers and wisdom within yourself to know the truth for your life. We are in a time of change — all of us. Our world is changing. This is a perfect time for you to live your life according to your own standards — to create what you want for yourself. Imagine yourself in December, 1999. You’ve accomplished exactly what you wanted to this year. Your life is what you want it to be. You are surrounded by the people you love and who are supportive of you. It’s possible…start NOW! ¤

  You can contact Laura Hess at laura@sparckint.com